Thursday, September 11, 2008

Definitions from a (Possible) Distant Cousin

I chuckled when I received these in an e-mail from Blaine Whipple earlier today. I hope you like them, too.
Adult:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Beauty Parlor:
A place where women curl up and dye.
Cannibal:
Someone who is fed up with people.
Chickens:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
Committee:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Dust:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Egotist:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Handkerchief:
Cold Storage.
Inflation:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
Mosquito:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
Raisin:
Grape with a sunburn.
Secret:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
Skeleton:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
Toothache:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
Tomorrow:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
Yawn:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
Wrinkles:
Something other people have, similar to my character lines